


Half the time, he's a world away

by 3rdsense



Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Bittersweet Ending, College Student Yeosang, M/M, Major Character Injury, Star Seonghwa, Strangers to Lovers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-11
Updated: 2020-10-11
Packaged: 2021-03-07 21:41:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,543
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26954545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/3rdsense/pseuds/3rdsense
Summary: "You won’t suddenly vanish off the face of the earth, right, you’re just going home.” Yeosang tried a wobbly smile, hoping it somehow reflected in his voice.He didn’t hear Seonghwa’s teary response, whispered so quietly only the moon could hear. “But I will.”When Yeosang offered the injured stranger to stay at his apartment until he was all healed, he anticipated the goodbye. But he didn't anticipate the laughter,  the sadness, and the moments in-between.
Relationships: Kang Yeosang/Park Seonghwa
Comments: 6
Kudos: 28





	Half the time, he's a world away

**Author's Note:**

> Hello and welcome to my first AU for Ateez.  
> Content and trigger warning: the first three scenes partially play in a hospital.  
> The injuries are explained in one sentence in the beginning of the second part, though they get mentioned throughout the story.

It was the third all-nighter this week. Yeosang shook his head, opening his eyes as wide as physically possible to stop the sleep from gnawing at both his brain and his eyelids. He looked at the clock - and scoffed in disbelief. How was it 3 in the morning when he wasn’t even halfway done with what he got assigned - and what he assigned for himself.

He would have loved to shift the blame for always working late onto his major, but he knew that marine biology wasn’t responsible for the exorbitant amount of work - it was his love for the subject paired with his need to be the best. Finding something that no one has ever seen before, discovering a new type of bacteria, it was all just so exciting. It warranted his workload, at least in his mind.

But after working for 6 hours, he was allowed to take a break, right? He hesitated. Was it really? There was still so much to do, so many papers to read, so much research to be done. Then again, who would stop him.

He sighed, cocking his head to look out of the window, eyes hot and heavy from staring at his laptop screen all night. Looking at the sky, he realized he hadn’t stargazed in months. He had always been too busy, or the sun had already risen when he did have the time.

"Fine. Five minutes. Ten at the most, and then I'll go back to work," he mumbled under his breath, thinking that he would surely stick to his words if he spoke them aloud. He lost no time opening the window as wide as possible, the fresh, crisp air filling his lungs as he leaned on the windowsill, already lost in the vastness of the almost black night sky.

The longer Yeosang stared, the more stars he could see - oh, how he wished light pollution wouldn't exist, curious what the sky looked like without it.

Right then and there, he felt at peace. He felt alone but not lonely. The stars kept him company, gave him comfort, just like it used to be. His work was long forgotten, as it didn't seem to matter if he finished it this night or the next day. All that mattered right now, was nothing and everything at the same time.

Yeosang wondered how the image he had in front of his eyes would reflect in the ocean. What he'd give to be on a boat right now, to look at both the sea and the sky in one glance, to see the ocean speckled with stars. He was considering to act upon this impulse, to just take the next train to the beach and pretend that responsibilities weren't real.

But something else caught his mind - or rather, his eye. It was a shooting star. Yeosang had mixed feelings about them. On one hand, they are just so pretty to look at, but on the other hand, they'd soon burn out and that always made him a little sad. Sure, the shooting stars weren't sentient beings - as far as he knew - but nevertheless, he couldn't change his feelings.

This one, however, didn’t seem to burn out. It wouldn't be a meteor, would it? A meteor would never crash into his backyard, he reasoned with himself. Stuff like that only happened in movies and to the luckiest - or unluckiest, however you see it - people.

"Oh my fucking god, what is that," was all Yeosang could say as the object crashed right into the small garden of the building he lived in.

And before he knew it, he was out of the door - what college student wouldn't want to see a rock from space that crashed into their garden? What did he have to lose?

Even if he had taken astronomy classes, no professor in the world could have prepared him for the sight in front of the building. 

There was no rock. 

There was no asteroid. 

There was... an injured man?

Yeosang had no time to think about what was happening, his brain already going into emergency mode.

The ride to the hospital was short and calm - well, as calm as something like that could possibly be. Yeosang quietly thanked himself for being level-headed and analytical in such situations - it always saved him in the lab and now in real life, too.

The student hadn't expected the night to take such a turn - from doing his assignments to sitting next to a stranger's hospital bed, trying not to fall asleep in case he woke up. The injuries weren't as bad as expected, he only had a fractured tibia and a couple of scratches and bruises, but where the damage came from was still a mystery - as well as who this man was.

Maybe Yeosang was a little too tired - it was only Wednesday and he hadn't had a full night's sleep this entire week - but he found himself thinking that the guy right in front of him was beautiful, ethereal even. There seemed to be almost a glow pulsating like a beating heart - Yeosang was now sure he hallucinated, there was absolutely no way it was real.

Yeosang couldn't remember when he had fallen asleep, though he must have. Otherwise, he wouldn't have been as startled when he heard a soft "The fuck-".

He was just as confused as the voice sounded, having forgotten what had happened - or rather, labeled it a dream. But there he was, still next to a stranger who was now awake and looking around the room with his big eyes which seemed to hold all the stars in them.

Before Yeosang could answer the implied question, a doctor arrived, telling him to go home for now; they needed to talk to the man. 

Yeosang caught the next bus, though eager to return, puzzled why the stranger intrigued him so much. He didn't know that man, but something told him that he had no one else to count on. And as if Yeosang would just abandon someone who needed help.

"The vibe check came back sad and lonely," was all he could think as he fell asleep again, this time on the bus home.

In his room, he packed whatever he could think of; clothes, toiletries, some books, and of course his laptop. Yeosang was incredibly confused why he felt this all-consuming urge to be there for the stranger, to stay by his side and to help him, but he just rolled with it, didn't think about it too much. Besides, he was curious to know more about how the man ended up outside of his building.

Arriving back at the hospital held two surprises for Yeosang. One, the stranger would be released tomorrow and two, the man was already waiting for him.

The college student stopped right in the doorway, unsure how to proceed. It wasn't like he could just talk to this man like he knew him for ages. "Maybe asking for his name would be a first step," Yeosang thought, cursing his brain for not providing more coherent thoughts that could be helpful.

"So, what's your name? I'm Yeosang!" He bit his tongue while he waited for a response. He didn’t get one. Yeosang started to get more nervous, running a slightly sweaty hand through the hair on the back of his head while he began to ramble, "I mean, you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to, of course. I was just curious, you know. You suddenly were in my garden and I was worried because you were injured and I have no idea how you got there and I felt like you didn't have someone to keep you company in here - though you might have someone or don't even want company - so I brought some things with me? Also I'm very sorry I'm rambling, I'm just so confused about everything, for example how I feel the need to help you? I don't know, I'm sorry this sounds completely absur-."

The man interrupted him by reassuring him that it was okay, calming Yeosang down in the process.

"I sincerely appreciate you visiting me, Yeosang. I can't give you all the answers but I will try to at least answer some of your questions. First of all, my name is Seonghwa. I also don't really know how I ended up here. Or why I am here. All I know is that I suddenly fell. And then I woke up in this bed, with you by my side. And with nowhere to go. I can't go back to my family until my leg is healed. I don't know what to do. I don't know anyone here," Seonghwa's eyes gave a clue on just how lost and home-sick he felt, tears threatening to spill.

"But you do. I'm here for you," Yeosang reached out a hand to pat the man's shoulder in consolation as he let out a breath, trying to disguise the incoming yawn. He was so tired, even though it was only noon. Pulling all-nighters and substituting sleep with short naps sure takes a toll on you. 

"Let's just rest for now, okay? It's been a long day for the both of us. We'll figure everything out later, together," he mumbled, already half asleep, suddenly overpowered by his brain screaming to finally get some rest.

Yeosang only managed to give Seonghwa the bag with some of his favourite books and said, "Nice," before he rolled up on the folding bed the hospital provided and fell into a deep slumber. Seonghwa stifled a smile, thankful that he now wouldn't embarrass himself in front of the stranger if he cried, and thankful at the distraction Yeosang brought along.

  
  
  


Yeosang woke up in the middle of the night, having forgotten how good one could feel with the appropriate amount of sleep. To his dismay, Seonghwa was asleep and the college student had to remind himself that first of all, that was a good thing, no one else beside him would need such a mess of a sleeping schedule, and secondly, that this man was still a stranger - no matter how close he felt, they didn't know each other.

Maybe now was the time to sort out his feelings. Or his thoughts. Or, it was the time to complete some of his assignments and ignore all of the confusing emotion-stuff. As inviting as the rest sounded, Yeosang stuck with the latter - his laptop a little too bright in the darkness of the room while he typed page after page. Any thought he deemed as distraction got discarded on a piece of paper to deal with later. Or never, depending on how he saw fit.

The student was deep into a text about the flora and fauna of the Mariana Trench when he realized that the sun had already risen a long time ago. Yeosang looked at Seonghwa, who was just waking up and looking back at him with half open eyes.

They immediately got to planning what they should do now, the time of discharge in mere hours. As Seonghwa said, he didn't have any family in Korea, didn't have any possibility of contacting them - Yeosang didn't ask further, the man was already on the verge of crying - and was just overall very much lost. So Yeosang did the only logical thing: he offered the (very handsome) stranger he met a little more than 24 hours ago to stay at his place until his leg was healed and he could return to his family.

And Seonghwa did the only thing he could think of: agree. 

He was extremely homesick and very desperate, not even knowing how to repay the student for his kindness.

Their trip to Yeosang’s home was short but very exhausting for Seonghwa. He had some problems with walking on crutches, and he was mesmerized by everything around him. Yeosang had never seen a grown man be excited about taking the bus, or about seeing a pigeon on the street. It was adorable, as if it was his first day as a human. Yeosang chuckled - what a stupid thought.

Seonghwa, on the other hand, tried to take in as much as possible, to preserve anything he saw so he could remember it; reminding himself in the same breath that his days were numbered.

🗓️

"Yeosang, please, I beg you, take a break with me. You said your exams were done now," Seonghwa pleaded, getting increasingly frustrated at the workload of the student, and his own boredom. About a week had passed since the men had temporarily moved in together, though they still knew practically nothing about each other - not that this little detail could change the cozy atmosphere between them.

Seonghwa was an enigma to Yeosang, he just couldn't figure out what kind of vibe the stranger gave him. And Yeosang, who was so similar yet so different from the one he knew, was equally a mystery to Seonghwa. And both of them felt an almost gravitational pull towards the other.

Yeosang thought about what Seonghwa wanted. Once. Twice. Thrice. There was a truth to his words - he had written his last exam two days ago. Theoretically, he knew he could take a break, he knew it was okay, but his mind shouted at him that he couldn't rest until he made a discovery, that he couldn't rest until he at least helped solve some of the mysteries. He didn't know why he had such high expectations for himself, didn't know why he stressed himself out this much when he only started his studies last year, when he knew he still had years to learn everything.

Yeosang's head started to hurt from overthinking. And then he looked at Seonghwa. The man who looked at him with such warmth in his eyes, it would put the sun to shame. The man who seemed worried for him despite being a stranger. 

"Maybe it's time to stop calling him a stranger," Yeosang thought as he massaged his temples, still not having answered.

"Okay," he said eventually, hearing Seonghwa sigh in relief. "But on one condition. Can we watch whatever I want?"

"Sure," Seonghwa answered with a reassuring smile, glad about the attention and Yeosang taking a break. He didn't even know if he had a preference when it came to movies or videos to begin with, so he was truly fine with whatever the younger might present to him.

Yeosang smiled. It was the first time Seonghwa saw his smile that day and it made his heart tumble, made it slip and almost fall. He reminded himself to not get attached, knowing that it was pointless, his core having decided a long time ago without bothering to ask the rest of him. If this situation was just the tiniest bit different, he would tell Yeosang everything, he could give him all the answers after all - contrary to what he had told him. 

If only things were different, maybe it wouldn't hurt as much. Maybe it would hurt even more, uncertainty could sometimes be scarier than keeping things to yourself, than pretending that everything was fine.

"First," began Yeosang, seemingly unaware of Seonghwa's inner turmoil, "let's prepare some snacks to eat. I suppose you're hungry too?"

By the third episode of his playlist - consisting of the few alien and cryptid episodes Buzzfeed Unsolved Supernatural had to offer - Yeosang got very tired, though he still tried to fight it, not wanting to fall asleep while they were watching something he requested. It was entertaining when Seonghwa mumbled under his breath how Shane was right or why humans thought that extraterrestrials would be so interested in them ("They have enough problems of their own.") - seemingly unaware that Yeosang could hear him. Although he should have questioned why Seonghwa was so sure when it came to aliens, he didn't exactly care, his head already falling on Seonghwa's shoulder as his eyelids began to close. He soon fell asleep, his mind at peace as he smiled at another comment from Seonghwa ("Why are humans so incredibly rude towards their predecessors?").

Only when the first video started again did Seonghwa realize that Yeosang was asleep, too immersed into the videos - partly because he found them very interesting and entertaining, but mostly because of what Yeosang had told him. These episodes seemed to have a special place in his heart.

A wave of fatigue crashed over him as he silently closed the laptop and set it aside, not having noticed how tired he had gotten. He let Yeosang's voice lull him to sleep as he once again repeated his words silently.

"This might sound very weird but it gives me comfort, you know? To see that there are still so many unsolved phenomena, that there are so many things we simply don't know, that there are so many discoveries waiting. I give myself a hard time, telling myself I need to have answers for everything. That I _need_ to find these answers if they aren't there yet. But I can only do so much. Videos like these really show me that, maybe, it's okay that some things haven't been discovered yet. I don't need to perform miracles, I can do what my abilities and science allow me and that's okay."

In Yeosang's dreams, a similar scene took place as Seonghwa's response echoed off walls, making him smile lightly. "It's okay. You don't need to force yourself to run when your usual pace is walking. You need to take care of yourself, too. You matter more than your studies."

🗓️

The second week passed by in the blink of an eye. Seonghwa had managed to convince Yeosang not to study for the whole seven days, leaving nothing else to do but watch movies and shows and talk, talk, talk. They had never been particularly awkward with each other but the past couple of days made them feel so much more comfortable, made them feel like they now really knew the other - not just have this underlying pull towards their counterpart.

It was Yeosang who proposed the third movie that day - _To All The Boys I've Loved Before_ \- not really in the mood for another deep talk or another show that needed him to use his brain to puzzle the plot together. Seonghwa immediately agreed to something light-hearted. Sad thoughts, that usually only came when the night started, were suddenly clouding his mind.

After Yeosang put on the movie, he laid closer to Seonghwa than before, as if he could see his thoughts - maybe he could, Seonghwa didn't know how good his poker face was. An arm snaked around Seonghwa's waist, making him lean even more into Yeosang, whose cheek was now pressed comfortably against Seonghwa's hair. It felt nice - holding and being held - so nice that Seonghwa forgot about his worries, forgot about being cautious with his heart, forgot about everything but Yeosang and the movie they were watching. Even though this wasn't the first time they cuddled, it still had the same effect, making both forget everything but the moment they were living in.

In a matter of minutes, the air was filled with laughter, the atmosphere was as light as a feather and no comment was held back.

"You know," Yeosang said, "writing down your thoughts is actually very helpful. But you might not want to write the address on them, so no one will ever see it, not until you show them yourself." 

Seonghwa hummed in response. "So if I want them to find the letter someday, I should write the address?"

Yeosang giggled. "Well, it would certainly help."

By the end of the movie, Seonghwa had fallen asleep. When the night awoke, Seonghwa closed his eyes and pretended not to notice any of it - trying desperately to sleep, leaving Yeosang to wonder how someone living with him of all people could have a seemingly healthy sleeping schedule.

Yeosang closed the laptop quietly, trying to move as little as possible, not wanting to wake up Seonghwa. He was about to close his eyes when he noticed that the glow was back - or had it been there the whole time? It wasn't the type of glowing when your skin is perfect - which his actually was - it was something radiating off his body, almost like a lamp. And Yeosang was the moth drawn to the light bulb that was Seonghwa. Little did he know that Seonghwa felt like a firefly, enchanted by the caterpillar that Yeosang once had been and now equally enamored with his changed self.

The years - and distance - apart couldn't neutralize their connection.

🗓️

The third week consisted of Yeosang showing Seonghwa his favourite places in the city and taking him to his favourite restaurants. It was the last day of their city tour when time ran too fast, when they could watch the sun set behind the skyline, painting a mesmerizing swirl of colour in the process, and when Seonghwa became visibly uneasy. He had been able to overcome the problems he had had with his crutches - to the extent where it was just as easy as walking - but he couldn't bear to see the night.

And no matter how hard he tried to conceal it, Yeosang noticed the shift in the mood. Earlier in the week, he had begun to suspect that Seonghwa's sleeping schedule was more to avoid the night than the result of a healthy biorhythm - and now he was almost sure of it. Though he didn't intentionally take his time for the night to roll in, he felt incredibly sorry - despite the fact that it was neither fault. The restaurant was quite packed, making the service a little slower than usual, but they hadn't minded. They had been lost in each other.

Well, that was until Seonghwa realised the time. He felt a little like the princess whose name he had forgotten, his midnight being the nightfall. But he couldn't run away like she did - and he didn't have to, for his prince was right in front of him.

When they exited the restaurant, satisfied and with a warm feeling deep inside, Seonghwa grew more and more frantic; one could basically see the gears in his head turn as he tried to find a solution, an alternative for having to walk in the night.

Without shining armour, without a majestic steed, Yeosang came to his rescue, once again. He knelt down, his back facing Seonghwa, and said, "Come on, give me your crutches and get on my back. I'll carry you, so you can just close your eyes and try your best to ignore it, okay? Home isn't far either, so don't worry about me."

His voice was warm and tender but determined, leaving absolutely no room to argue; and Seonghwa didn't want to, for that matter.

When Seonghwa was pressed against Yeosang's back, crutches in his hands, eyes closed, and ears focused on the steady rhythm of Yeosang’s breathing, he felt okay. Good, almost - Yeosang made everything feel less scary, less sad, and less lonely. Just like back then.

The low rumble of Yeosang’s voice was like distant thunder, such a comforting sound. Seonghwa didn’t catch onto the words, only concentrated on the sound being there. Only when it stopped did he register that there had actually been words spoken to him. In his surprise, all he managed to get out was, “What?”

He quickly followed it up with a more elaborate response, feeling sorry for not listening, “I’m sorry, I wasn’t paying attention, could you maybe repeat what you said?”  
“It’s all right, Seonghwa, don’t apologize. I asked if you wanted to talk about it? I mean, about what’s bothering you. You don’t have to, though. Just know that I’m here for you.”  
Seonghwa rested his chin on Yeosang’s shoulder, not having anticipated that such a difficult question would be brought upon him.

“Oh.”

A response Yeosang had expected, though not the one he’d wished for. But it was okay for him, nevertheless. Seonghwa would surely talk to him if and when he was ready to.  
A few moments passed by, accompanied by the sound of cars on the road, the occasional chatter of a passing group, muffled music from a party. Only a couple of meters until they were back home. A couple of meters Seonghwa could use to talk without looking at Yeosang, and without Yeosang looking at him. It would be easier that way. And so, the words just flowed out without any more thinking. His raw feelings, there, exposed to Yeosang and the whole night sky.

“I feel ridiculous saying this, but I just can’t bear the sight of the sky at night. I just - I can’t look at it. It reminds me so much of home, of my friends, and the one I’ve lost. I miss my home so much and yet it pains me to think about leaving you. I know it’s too much too quick but you kind of also feel like home? However I decide, I will lose something, but the decision isn’t even mine to make, it’s already decided. I have to go back home. And I really want to and it’s all just so painful. It hurts to think about it. And it hurts even more to see the night, to see the stars and know there’s still so much time left until I can return. On the other hand, the time we’ve spent has run so fast. I don’t want it to end.”

Yeosang could feel hot tears clawing at his eyes, begging to fall, asking to keep the ones Seonghwa had shed onto his shoulder company. It was hard to listen to Seonghwa’s voice break, to hear the sniffing, to know he couldn't do much more than answer and be there. Yet, it was harder to decide what to say, how to console him, how to help him understand what he wanted. Yeosang would love to tell him to just stay with him. He got the sudden urge to tell Seonghwa about his feelings. How did this relationship develop so fast, he wondered.  
But he decided otherwise. This wouldn’t help in the slightest, so he opted for reassurance. “It’s okay to be confused about these kinds of things. I’m sorry I can’t provide a solution to your dilemma, but if it helps, keep in mind that we can always stay in contact when you leave. You won’t suddenly vanish off the face of the earth, right, you’re just going home.” Yeosang tried a wobbly smile, hoping it somehow reflected in his voice.

He didn’t hear Seonghwa’s teary response, whispered so quietly only the moon could hear. “But I will.”

Yeosang’s voice sounded relieved as he spoke, “We’re right outside the building, so you won’t have to hold on any longer. How about tea and some distraction? Or we could talk about it a little more if you’d like? It’s your call.”

Yeosang was glad that they arrived. It meant that Seonghwa could rest, that he could divert his attention.

“Yeah, tea would be nice. I don’t want to do anything else, I’m sorry, just some videos to help sleep,” Seonghwa replied, mumbling from exhaustion. He couldn’t get used to the tired feeling you get after crying.

Some tea and a couple of soap-making videos later - they always made Seonghwa sleep more sound - the both of them had fallen asleep.

Yeosang woke up, legs still tangled with Seonghwa’s. It was weird to have the night greet him good morning, weird to wake up when he usually went to bed. Seonghwa really had that kind of impact on him: bettering his sleeping schedule, making basic things exciting again, making him look forward to the next day.

Yeosang hadn’t realised when and how he slowly but surely disregarded the small joys in life, but he was glad to have found them again. He hadn’t realised how stressed he truly was, how little time he took for himself. “Maybe, just maybe,” he thought, “I do matter more than my studies.”

And with this sentence, like pulling a switch, his thoughts landed on Seonghwa. Nothing else, only the man next to him. Yeosang’s mind was nagging at him, clawing at his rationality to allow himself to finally figure out his feelings. The thoughts he used to repress as soon as they appeared came flooding in, as though a dam had been broken.

Yeosang tried to patch up the wall, tried to shove them back where they came from - it was too early, it wasn’t the time to think about this.

He stopped. Maybe it was the time. Maybe, he should do things a little different. He wouldn’t be able to sleep anyway, so now was as good a time as any. “Hopefully,” he thought, as he got up, careful not to wake Seonghwa; it was still dark out and he didn’t want him to see the night more than he needed to.

Just as he was about to close the door, Yeosang remembered to scribble down a short note, so Seonghwa wouldn’t worry if he woke up when he was still out.

Going for a walk all alone was also something he hadn’t done in a long time. It was refreshing, to say the least. Yeosang could watch the last people go home while the first went to work; the streets never seemed to be empty. Even the park by the riverside - Yeosang’s comfort spot - wasn’t completely empty. Motivated joggers worked out while others just strolled by and enjoyed the view.

Walks by the river always cleared his mind, helped him figure out his feelings, though they had never been as confusing as they were now.

He kicked a pebble. What exactly was it that he felt? Another pebble. It was hard to grasp it, because whatever it was that he felt, it was really strong. As if he was an asteroid in one of Saturn’s rings, or as if he was the sea being pulled by the moon.

“Okay. Deep breath. I do know that I don’t know a lot about Seonghwa. I also know that, with every detail I get to know, I like him more. And I somehow feel like I do know him. Maybe from my past life? Maybe we’re something like soulmates? No, that’s silly. Maybe it’s just an intense crush. I’m sure that’s it. Yes. Nothing else, just a crush. And I’m not going to fall deeper. I won’t. I know I won’t.”

Yeosang smiled. Finally having it all figured out made his entire mood lift and he couldn’t anticipate coming home. Finally he could let the thoughts about Seonghwa just roam in his head without a poor excuse as to why exactly he had thought about, say, kissing him (“Just the heat of the moment”).

Seonghwa was already awake when Yeosang returned. A bit taken aback, Yeosang held up his hands, showing the brown box he held. “I come bearing pastries,” he half-questioned with a slight smirk. He couldn’t help smiling when he saw Seonghwa, especially after seeing that he didn’t seem angry that Yeosang left him alone.

Seonghwa returned the smirk. “Well, that would go perfectly with the coffee I just made. Maybe we’re somehow synched.” There was a short, semi-serious pause until they broke out in giggles. The kind of giggles that make your eyes water just the tiniest bit. The kind of giggles you only get when you’re with someone you adore a lot.

🗓️

It was the middle of the fourth week when Seonghwa successfully took advantage of the fact that Yeosang had to talk to his university professor, thus leave the house for hours. Seonghwa hoped Yeosang hadn’t noticed any of his plans. Luckily, that man was oblivious. Besides, what was he supposed to suspect, anyway. No one would anticipate someone with a cast on their leg to plan an elaborate picnic coupled with a more or less needed confession.

But Seonghwa had planned exactly that. The idea had come to him when he had woken up and Yeosang had been gone. It had been painful and worrying, though he knew he would come back. It had been too similar to what had happened back then.

Despite that, he couldn’t help but think that how he felt then, that would be Yeosang’s reality if Seonghwa didn’t tell him who he really was. The feeling wouldn’t be gone when Seonghwa returned with baked goods, because he wouldn’t be able to.

He knew then and there that he would have to open up to Yeosang, it was only a matter of time. Or else, Yeosang would most likely be stuck with the most despicable feeling, one Seonghwa himself had to endure for eons and wouldn’t wish onto his worst enemy.

He wrote “Meet me at our usual spot” on a post-it note, stuck it on the wall above the shoe rack, and went on his way.

Sat on a blanket next to an enormous weeping willow right by the riverside, Seonghwa could feel his heart thrum in his throat. Countless thoughts went through his head. What if Yeosang wouldn’t find the note? What if Yeosang was too tired to come? What if Yeosang wouldn’t believe him? What if he thought this all was incredibly stupid? What if-

A sudden gust of wind brought his mind from the _what if_ to _what is_ , the branches of the tree dancing with the wind being an easy and welcome distraction. Seonghwa hadn’t paid much attention to the weeping willow before today, Yeosang was always too distracting himself. But looking at it now, it really did seem sad. The leaves at the tips of the branches touched the water as if the river was filled with its tears.

Another breeze picked up the branches Seonghwa had just settled his gaze on. The leaves swayed to their own beat, revealing the person he tried so hard not to think about, the fear of rejection burying itself even deeper into his stomach. But that didn’t stop him from noticing just how ethereal Yeosang looked. The pink hair they had spent two hours on yesterday - dyeing hair was more time-consuming than they had thought - made Yeosang look like a fairy; graceful, elegant, not quite real.

However, he was real. Everything about him was; his beautiful, shoulder-length hair, his bright smile, his clear but deep voice, his passion for things he deeply cares about, his heart. He was more real than Seonghwa would ever be on this earth; at least in this life.

But when Yeosang used his hand to part the branches, when he walked over to the blanket, god, when he smiled at Seonghwa, Seonghwa felt incredibly real. This moment was real, his feelings were real - and, sadly, what he was about to reveal was, too. He wished it wasn’t.

Yeosang sat down, right across from Seonghwa. He somehow felt that Seonghwa was about to tell him something important; part of him hoped it would be Seonghwa deciding to just stay with him. The rational part in Yeosang told him to stop being so delusional.

Seonghwa took a deep breath, and decided he needed some more time. Even after almost everything he had prepared had disappeared into their stomachs, he felt like he needed more time. More time to explain, as well as more time with Yeosang; but time didn’t need him.

Seonghwa savoured the last normal moment he would have with Yeosang. And then decided, it was time.

“Hey, Yeosang.” Seonghwa’s voice was unsteady, as if he hadn’t talked for hours, “I need to tell you something.”

Yeosang hummed in response, not wanting to interrupt Seonghwa, now that he had finally found the words he had so clearly struggled with. On impulse, Yeosang took Seonghwa’s hand, squeezing lightly to signal him that he was there, that he was listening, and that he wasn’t going anywhere.

“This might sound unbelievable, no, it _will_ sound unbelievable, but I assure you, I am telling you the truth. I have been waiting for the right moment to tell you, but it never came, so I tried to create one.” Seonghwa let out a nervous laugh. His hand trembled in Yeosang’s, whose thumb drew soothing circles on the back of Seonghwa’s hand.

“I told you I live far away, right? Well, that was a bit of an understatement. I don’t just live halfway across the globe. I don’t just live a plane ride away. My home is in another galaxy. I am one of the stars in the night sky. And you once were, too. Right beside me." His voice broke. "Until suddenly, you weren’t, and I was heartbroken - well, I think that’s what it’s called if you have a heart.” Seonghwa tried to smile the incoming tears away, to try and finish what he had begun. He was not looking at Yeosang. He couldn’t bear to see the disgusted face he imagined him to have.

“I missed you so, so much. I didn’t know where you were. How you were. I didn’t even know _if_ you still were, or ceased to exist. But I couldn’t do much, and that hurt even more. Then, somehow, I fell; and when I woke up, I saw you sleeping right next to me. Though I didn’t know who exactly you were, I felt our bond. However, only a few days later I recognised you, and I’ve been agonizing whether to tell you ever since. Until I remembered how I felt when you disappeared. I couldn’t live with the sheer possibility of you feeling like that. And I know I’m gambling with this, but I suppose you also felt our bond?”

Seonghwa glanced at Yeosang, his curiosity overpowering the fear he felt. His breath hitched when he saw tears slowly crawling down Yeosang’s face. Before Seonghwa could even start to predict what Yeosang was thinking, Yeosang whispered, “So that’s what that is. Our bond.” He spoke the last words with so much care, as if they would break as soon as he pronounced them just the tiniest bit harsher.

Yeosang sniffled before he started his next sentence. “Maybe that makes me sound unbelievable, but I believe you. It makes sense. Well, kind of, but you get me. You know, it explains so much. How I always felt like I needed to be with you. How I always felt like I knew you for more than a couple of days or weeks. How my feelings developed so fast. How you glow. It all makes sense.”

“Wait, wait, wait.” Yeosang’s heart stopped. The part about his feelings just slipped out, and now Seonghwa, a literal star, would reject him.

“What do you mean I glow? How come you never told me!”

“Wait. I thought you knew?! It’s pulsating like a beating heart, I thought I was just imagining things!”

Seonghwa broke out in laughter. Not necessarily because Yeosang thought he hallucinated, and not necessarily because he didn’t know he glowed. It was the whole situation that felt almost comical. Yeosang joined in, and they laughed until their stomachs ached and tears formed in their eyes. As soon as the laughter came, it vanished and made way for a comfortable silence.

Seonghwa was the one to break it, as he spoke, “You know, I fell in love with you. Back then, when we first met in the sky. I could not forget you.” This time, he was the one to take the other’s hand. He carefully moved his thumb across Yeosang’s knuckles in an attempt to gain the strength to say the next words.

“Over the last weeks, I fell for you all over again. Both literally and metaphorically. You were a star before, and now you are a supernova.” Seonghwa made a short pause while looking at Yeosang, whose smile was as bright as he once had shone.

With a smile of his own, Seonghwa continued, “So, tell me about the feelings you mentioned earlier.” His smile turned into a smirk as he watched Yeosang’s ears turn a crimson red.

However, it was quite easy to find the right words after Seonghwa had eliminated his fear of being turned down.

“Well, at first I was in denial about my feelings for you. It couldn’t be that I fell in love this fast, we didn’t even know each other, like, at all. But the more time I spent with you, the more I wanted to be with you. Even when I tried to distance myself, something about you pulled me in. I labelled it a crush only a couple of days ago; I refused to accept that I fell in love in a matter of weeks. But I guess we’re destined to be.” With that last sentence, Yeosang beamed at Seonghwa, whose cheeks were flushed red, not having anticipated such straightforwardness.

Despite many questions floating around in both men’s heads, Seonghwa settled on a more pleasant one. “Yeosang, what are we now? Do you want to continue being friend-”

“Add a ‘boy’ in front of that,” Yeosang interrupted dryly, breaking into a grin almost immediately. He hastily added, “If that’s okay with you, of course.”  
Seonghwa let go of Yeosang’s hand; and let his heart drop into the middle of the earth.

“Boyfriend.” Seonghwa put the words together gently, and Yeosang had never heard so much amazement for such a trivial word.

“I like it,” Seonghwa concluded with a short nod, “very much.” He stretched out his arms for Yeosang to give him a - much needed - hug.

A few hours later, they had moved the blanket so Seonghwa could lean against the trunk of the weeping willow while Yeosang was sitting in between his legs. The branches shielded the men from the rest of the world, creating their own time and space, their haven. It was now their escape from the questions they had to answer earlier, it was their escape from the fact that in only a week, everything would be different.

Yeosang and Seonghwa had decided to make the best of it, to enjoy the week they had together, to just roll with it and not think too much. With Yeosang’s back against Seonghwa’s chest, with the rhythm of their breathing synchronized, with Seonghwa’s arms around Yeosang’s waist and Yeosang’s hands resting on top of them, thinking too much was the last thing on their minds.

“I know I said you are a supernova,” Seonghwa whispered into Yeosang’s ear, “but I’d like to correct myself. You are _my_ supernova.”

Yeosang let himself lean more into his boyfriend while he answered in a hushed voice, “And you are my four leaf clover.”

Seonghwa tightened his grip slightly and said, “I’m glad you found me.”

🗓️

At the end of the fifth week, Yeosang led Seonghwa to the train station. Seonghwa’s cast had been taken off a few days ago, puzzling the doctors when he could walk without problems immediately afterwards. Yeosang had told the doctors he was “out of this world”, making Seonghwa laugh so hard he fell.

As they sat next to each other on the train, the anxiety they had repressed over the last week came washing over them, knowing they would have to part. Seonghwa’s head was on Yeosang’s shoulder as he played with his boyfriend’s hands; they took every chance to be as close as possible.

“Will you finally tell me where we are going? Not letting me look at the information screen is one thing, but putting your hands over my ears every time there is an announcement is a little over the top, isn’t it?” Seonghwa chuckled the last part, letting Yeosang know he was just teasing.

“Actually, I wanted to blindfold you the entire way. _That_ would have been over the top. But I decided against it because I was afraid the people might think I kidnapped you.” Yeosang pressed a gentle kiss on top of Seonghwa’s hair.

“Why, thank you for being so considerate of strangers, my love.”

Two hours later, Yeosang ushered Seonghwa onto a small boat and drove them as far out as he could.

Yeosang chewed on his lip as he said, “I initially wanted to go so far that we wouldn’t be able to see land anywhere, but that wouldn’t be safe, so I hope this closed off cove is good enough. I’m pretty sure we will be able to see it regardless.”

Seonghwa looked Yeosang in the eyes, and realized that was something he had rarely done; the warm dark brown felt like home nevertheless. “Hey, I like everything you do for me. Thank you so much for taking m-”  
“Thank me later, my star. You haven’t even seen anything yet,” Yeosang smirked, and Seonghwa loved his boyfriend’s smug face.

While the sun began to crawl toward the horizon, Seonghwa stood up to properly see it while simultaneously taking Yeosang’s hand in his, wishing he could stay like this forever. The horizon had been painted in a lovely gold, making the rest of the sky appear darker than it actually was.

When the sun had disappeared halfway, it looked like it would rise in the ocean once again, making Seonghwa gasp as he had seldom seen a scenery as beautiful as this. Even though the ocean and the sky are so different from each other, in this moment they looked like one.

Seonghwa couldn’t believe his eyes, and as fascinating as the spectacle was, as quickly the moment faded, leaving only a memory - soon, he himself would be one, too.

Yeosang interrupted his boyfriend’s thought process by pulling him into his lap, resting his own cheek on Seonghwa’s back. Seonghwa interlaced their fingers on top of his stomach while Yeosang began to speak - something he wanted to get off his chest in forever.

“Have I ever told you that I think space and the ocean aren’t so different from each other? Well, apart from their obvious, physical differences, they have something in common. Two things, actually, and I know you might think that two isn’t enough to call them similar, but it’s enough for me. Maybe it’s because I want to unite the subjects I really like, maybe I’m just plain stupid, who knows. But if you look at it from the human standpoint, space is largely undiscovered. There is a high chance of another living organism somewhere out there, even if they might not be the gray or green aliens that are depicted in sci-fi movies.

The same goes for our ocean, except the part with the aliens. We really don’t know all that much about the two.”

Sadly, Yeosang couldn’t see the smile that had formed on Seonghwa’s lips - but he could hear it when he spoke, “I love how your brain works. You’re not stupid. I certainly see where you’re coming from. Even the things we consider to be contrasting can have similarities. I think that’s a valuable thing to keep in the back of your mind.”

Yeosang hummed in response. A silence that spoke more than a thousand words settled between them; it substituted words of affection, words of regret, words of comfort, words of goodbye. Even though it was quiet, they understood everything that was left unspoken.

This time, Yeosang was the first to talk again, “It’s finally time to show you why I brought you here. Funnily enough, that’s also what I thought about before I saw you fall. Hang on, I’ll just turn off the lamp, then you can see what I mean.”

Despite the light of the full moon, their eyes needed some time to adjust to the darkness. However, with every passing second they spent looking at the sky, dozens of stars appeared seemingly out of nowhere. The night was speckled with glowing freckles, and Yeosang realized once more that Seonghwa really did belong there. He was shining right beside Yeosang, but not for long. It was soon time to return - to part.

Seonghwa’s mouth hung open in awe, he had avoided this time of day as if his life depended on it and he had nearly forgotten how beautiful his home was.

Yeosang leaned forward, letting his lips graze his boyfriend’s ear while he whispered, “That’s not all. Stand up, dear. Be careful.”

Yeosang held Seonghwa’s waist as he stood up, half to help him keep his balance, half because he just wanted to hold him. Immediately after finding the right position to not fall in the water, Seonghwa saw what Yeosang meant. The sea looked like an extension of the sky, more so than before. The stars reflected on the surface of the calm ocean - it was as if the sea knew that this was an important moment, as if it wanted to help, or maybe that was just something Yeosang liked to think.

“It’s a piece of space on earth,” Seonghwa muttered under his breath, tears forming in his eyes. He turned to look at his boyfriend, who was already looking at him, admiring Yeosang’s beauty under the moonlight for the first and the last time. “This is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. Apart from you, that is.”

Seonghwa brought a hand up to gently tuck a strand of hair behind Yeosang’s ear. Seonghwa would have loved to smile, would have loved to show Yeosang that everything would be okay, but he couldn’t. It was time, and they both knew. There was nothing to smile about.

With tears threatening to spill, Yeosang came closer to his boyfriend and cupped his face with his hands. “Can I kiss you?”

Seonghwa nodded, and when their lips connected, everything stopped. Everything except the lazy, gentle moving of their lips against each other, except Yeosang’s thumb grazing the other’s jaw, except Seonghwa’s hands on his boyfriend’s waist. It was the perfect moment in a tragic ending to their chaotic story, Seonghwa thought.

The couple parted to let out shaky, much needed breaths, and let their tears flow with a smile. It was confusing to say goodbye like this, happy and sad mixing in their chests to create a swirl of anguish and joy. Seonghwa swiped Yeosang’s tears away and pointed at the sky.

“Cry as much as you want. It will be okay. You can always find me by looking up. Remember, stars are always there, even when you can’t see us. I miss you already. I will watch over you. I love you.”

“I love you, too,” Yeosang replied, and when he moved his head to look at his boyfriend one last time, he was gone.

🗓️

Yeosang leaned on his windowsill and looked into the night sky.

“It’s been one month now since we parted. It feels longer than that. I know I told you for the past two weeks that I would go to uni again, and I never pulled through. But today, I did it. I’m proud of myself and I know you are, too.

I also signed up for a club. A dance club. It’s scary. The meeting people I do not know, the not really knowing what to expect, and the being new in a group that already knows each other. But I will manage. I hope. There are no strings attached otherwise, so I don’t have to stress myself about being the best.

The astronomy course I started online is going great, by the way. I’m glad I started to test out learning about other things I like. Plus, I now know more about your home. It makes me feel closer to you. I still miss you, so, so much. I don’t think that will ever go away. But it’s okay, I don’t want it to.

I know I say this every day, but thank you for the time you've spent with me, and thank you for falling in love with me. I love you.”

🗓️

“You won’t believe what happened today. I think I found a friend. I went to the cafeteria for the first time in forever and this guy - he is one of the instructors in the dance club - just sat down across from me and started talking to me. His name is Wooyoung. He is very nice. Loud, but nice. He didn’t mind when I gave short answers, he didn’t mind when I didn’t know how to respond at all.

He laughs at my jokes, and his laugh is just the best thing anyone has ever heard. 

He also respects when I say that I don’t want to talk about something.

Do you think he pities me? Or does he simply just want to be my friend? Or, I’m just guessing with this, did you send him to me, somehow?

I don’t know anymore, it’s been too long since I interacted with other people, except you. Maybe I just think too much.

I think I never realized how much I isolated myself, and how lonely that made me. I still enjoy being alone, but being with others is also nice. You showed me that.

I miss you. A lot. Sometimes I wish you could have stayed, but I know that would have been selfish. Just like how I can’t survive in space, you can’t survive on earth over time.

But thank you for the time you did spend with me, thank you for falling in love with me, and I love you.”

🗓️

“Today, I got to meet Wooyoung's boyfriend and his friends. They’re all just such a cohesive group. I’m afraid I might not fit, or even tear the group apart. But they’re all just so nice, mostly in my age, too.

One of them immediately adopted me and told me he would crush anyone that’s giving me a hard time. He’s the youngest of all of us. And he means it. I think you would like him. All of them, actually.

They’re all such sweethearts, I don’t really know how to describe them to you.

After I came home, I randomly thought about what you told me. That I should keep in mind that even the things we consider to be contrasting can have similarities. I think that is true for Wooyoung, he seems like the opposite of me. And maybe, that can also be true for his friends.

The dance club is going well, by the way. I have not yet made a fool of myself and it’s quite relaxing. I really like it.

The astronomy course is so incredibly interesting, but I think you know that. These days, I wonder where exactly I shined. Where our story began. Maybe one day I will know.

But I do know that you’re always there for me, even though I can’t see you.

Thank you for spending your time on earth with me. Thank you for falling in love with me. I love you, always.”

🗓️

“It’s our anniversary. Happy one year to our relationship!

I found your letter today. You idiot even wrote the address on the envelope before hiding it in my apartment.” Yeosang smiled fondly as a silent tear escaped his eyes.

“I didn’t open it yet, I thought I’d read it back to you.

_Hello, my supernova,_

_I don’t really know how to start a letter, I’m sorry._

_I just remembered a conversation I had with one of the moons after you vanished. They told me that you might have been reborn. I thought they said that just to comfort me, but they were right, after all._

_Apparently, some stars exist just as stars. Some were once human. Some will be humans. And some humans will be stars. There is not really a guideline, it just happens._

_The same goes for falling and coming back. Some stars burn out when they fall. Some don’t._

_So, maybe you will be a star again in the future. I sure hope so._

_I hope you’re carrying on well without me. I wish for you to live a wonderful and happy life. It’s what you deserve, and I hope you agree with me. You’re always pushing yourself so hard, always criticizing yourself, always thinking you could do more, do better. But I’m here to tell you, it’s okay. You are doing amazingly already. I told you before and I will tell you again. You do not have to force yourself to run when that’s not your pace._

_I haven’t told you yet, but I want you to know this. When I came to exist as a star, I was confused, I was lonely, I felt like I didn’t belong. However, somehow I had the blessing of you being there for me, of you showing me that I have a place in space. You made me feel less lonely, you helped me communicate with the other beings. You made me feel loved._

_I hope I could do that for you, too, in the short time I was here.”_

More tears streamed down Yeosang’s face, as he said, “You did. Thank you so much.”

_“I wish I could stay to make sure I did. But I guess we’re destined to be apart._

_Thank you for finding me. Thank you for falling in love with me._

_I love you,_

_Seonghwa._

I love you, too.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading.  
> I hope you enjoyed it.  
> If you have any criticism, big or small, or any questions, feel free to comment.  
> I hope you have a wonderful day, and see you next time.


End file.
